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rae_chill
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Name: R...
Gender: Female
Interests: foolishness
Expertise: stressing, sleeping, cramming, procrastinating...
Occupation: Medical
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/25/2002
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| i'd like to remain 30 for the rest of my life because:
1. the insecurities that plague you in your teens and twenties have faded away.
2. you've stopped giving a shit about what others think and are more confident in what you think.
3. but at the same time you haven't lost your sense of decency yet.
3. you've had 30 years to figure out how to play this game called life...
4. and now you've found some direction and purpose in the game, and perhaps even some meaning as well.
5. you still have some pep in your step.
6. you still have your looks and nothing is saggy. AND you can still get away with wearing mini skirts and other risque fashion pieces without making yourself and others barf.
7. your family is on the most part still alive and well and now you can start giving back.
8. you've developed a more solid definition of what friends are and you know who fits this definition and who doesn't.
9. you can be simultaneously realistic and hopeful about the future.
10. and you can still be single without people being concerned/pitying you just yet.
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| so i'm really going for surgery... i guess i gotta sleep now while i still can  (clarification: i'm not getting surgery done, i'm going to be doing surgery!)
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| i think i'm a bit of a human anomaly and even more of a female anomaly... although i usually work and place nice with others, i'm actually a bit of a loner - at the end of the day i just really like being alone and i like the simplicity of just having to deal with me and no one else. i enjoy my own space and even more, i enjoy my independence. i like having my own bed and i like knowing that the only messes i need to clean are my own... but with age and experience, i'm becoming more aware of the fact that because i'm like this it's going to take a bit of divine intervention or else some sort of magical alignment of stars and planets for me to become divinely aligned with a life long mate... i realize it's not a "perfect" person that i'm looking for, but rather, someone imperfectly perfect for me who will have what it takes for to get me to trade in this lifestyle i enjoy for permanent coupledom (and not coupledoom ). and so i wait... because i'd much rather be alone than be bound legally or otherwise to someone that just isn't quite "it."
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| so it's the start of a whole new decade for me. i have mixed feelings, seeing as though i wasn't quite done with the previous one... the last 5 or so years has been a coffee coated blur of repetitive themes and events but i feel a wave of change stirring up and i hope it sweeps me to new and exciting places... that's because the other option - drowning, is clearly less fun and appealing. i guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens... oh the suspense 
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| it's a cyber ghost town on xanga... i kind of like it. i can almost feel the cyber dust blow across the screen and the rusty hinges of xanga squeak as i type now... everyone has moved on to facebook i guess, and although it does have other bells and whistles, i can only throw so many ding-dongs and high five so many psuedo-friends before it gets irritatingly boring. there was more substance on xanga, there were inner thoughts and monologues on xanga, more expression and written diarrhea... i miss it all. maybe we can revive this place - bring back the blogger purists, the people with thoughts and experiences they are burdened to share with the rest of the cyberworld, the great writers that can blog about absolutely nothing and make it sound like something great... ya? is anyone out there??
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